Going To School 2: MORE MADNESS
by PsychoMD
Summary: The sequal is COMPLETED. This is a bizarre and extremely funny fanfic that may even shock you! Trust me, you dont want to miss this one! You wont be disappointed! Please Read and Review!!
1. Default Chapter

For those of you that read Going to School, you know what you're in store for. A bizarre hilarious story that will move often then not, break away from the main story, just to throw in a joke. (A la' Family Guy or The Critic) For those of you that haven't read Going to School, this is not a continuation of the original story, but just another episode. However, I feel you should go read the first one, because it needs more reviews. I'll wait for you... ... ..  
  
...  
  
...  
  
You're not going, are you? Well fine. Be that way. See if I care. You've made a powerful enemy today. When the revolution comes, and us sub- dwellers rise up to take the overworld, you will NOT be spared. Anyway... where was I? Oh yeah, I was doing an intro to this story. Oh and by the way, just a quick not, i sincerely apologize if the spacing of this story is off, fanfic.net is giving me grief about my spacing, so i hope its taken care of  
  
  
  
Going to School 2: MORE MADNESS  
  
ANNOUNCER: "Hello once again pokemon fans. NOW THIS is a familiar scene. Trees, grass, the sky, clouds!!! It looks like Ash and Company are somewhere on the planet. but. WHERE ON EARTH IS ASH KETCHUM?"  
  
WE FLY DOWN A LONG FUTURISTIC TUBE AND IN A FLASH OF LIGHT THE SCENE DEVELOPS TO ASH, MISTY, BROCK, and TRACEY WALKING DOWN A DIRT ROAD.  
  
  
  
Ash groaned. "What the hell type of opening is that?" Brock shrugged, "Yeah, Carmen Sandiego hasn't been popular for years! I don't think anyone will even GET that reference. Why not just do an opening like the Beverly Hillbillies?"  
  
  
  
BANJO MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY.  
  
And Brock, wearing clothes like Jed Clampid walks on screen. music plays...  
  
"This is the story 'bout a boy named Brock, a horny kind of kid who plays with his."  
  
INTERUPTING  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT!!!" Misty shouted, "What? We didn't get enough complaints from our last episode?"  
  
Brock agreed, "Yeah, we got so many flames, our system was locked for days! The last time we received that many complaints about an episode was back when he had Melvin the Magician on."  
  
Ash groaned again, "Tell me about it. That perve wouldn't stop hitting on me!"  
  
"Pikachu pika pikaf pikau pikac pickk chyou!" Pikachu exclaimed. (He kept feeling MY ass!)  
  
Everyone decided to drop it there, and just kept walking in silence.  
  
Tracey finally broke the silence, asking, "So where are we going?"  
  
WARNING: TYPICAL POKEMON EXPOSITION COMING.  
  
Brock looked at the "pokemon watcher", and said, "We told you before we left. We are going to the pokemon festival just off Route 66. . It's held every year around this time."  
  
Misty chimed in, "Yeah, there's food, games where you can win prizes, raffles, pokemon battles, lectures on pokemon breeding, and even a contest to see who's got the best pokemon! I'm hoping my Staryu takes the blue ribbon for the water-type division."  
  
Brock then added, "The festival is over 100 years old, it started back when people thought we needed a new festival. They tried a pokemon festival and it really took off. Its a time where all trainers can come together proving that man and pokemon, no matter how different to each other they are.".  
  
  
  
A tree branch falls down and lands on Brock's head knocking him down and out. "What the hell?" Misty exclaimed.  
  
Ash looked up and saw Pikachu up in a tree with a hacksaw in its hands. "Good job Pikachu!" Ash called up, "You gotta stop Brock before he gets on a roll with his speeches. Because some people just don't know when to quit!!!"  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE  
  
Bush is pleading with someone on the phone. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I think Saddam is developing chemical weapons with the aid of aliens. No, this isn't a personal feud I have with the man cause he made my daddy look like a fool. This is because aliens are here on this earth, and they are helping Saddam. What kind of aliens? Wookies and Ewoks mostly, but I think there are few from Melmac that are helping..."  
  
  
  
The secret service man in the room look on... "Its really sad that he believes what he says, isn't it?" One says. The other replies, "What's really sad is that the phone isn't even plugged in..."  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN SITTING BEHIND A DESK  
  
"We realized that the opinions of the writers of this story might differ from those that you, the reader has. We would just like to remind you that those of you that have opinions that differ from those of this story are probably stupid and should jump out the window to meet a quick demise so the smarter people can divide up your stuff. thank you for your time"  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO PAULY SHORES HOUSE  
  
We see his Pauly Shore's computer desk empty and his window wide open revealing a clear sky. As we move in to look out the window we see that it's only the first story window and Pauly is lying just under the window, face first in the dirt. "Looks like I got some groundage."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO MAIN STORY  
  
"So I says to the director," Misty is telling her friends, "If this is suppose to be a nude scene for the movie, why are we in your office, and where are the cameras. Oh hey, we're back on."  
  
Ash turns to Brock, "So how far away are we now."  
  
"You just asked that a minute ago, and I told you then that we're already here!" Brock said exasperated. Sure enough, our heroes are amidst a very large group or people, tents, booths, and other colorful things related to a carnival atmosphere. Misty seemed shocked, "Ash, you didn't NOTICE that we were here?"  
  
"Hey, I was lost in thought!" Ash said.  
  
Misty nudged him and said, "I'm not surprised, its unfamiliar territory."  
  
"You know," Ash complained, "I'm the star of the show, and I get no respect."  
  
"You think YOU'VE got it bad?" Tracey reminds him, "Look at me? I have 3 crappy pokemon, no merchandising, and a stupid haircut." Tracey waves his hair in front of Ash screaming nearly foaming at the mouth, "WHO CUT THIS???? IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE PUT A BOWL ON MY HEAD THEN HACKED AWAY WITH A CHAINSAW." Tracey starts to bawl, "I HATE my lifeeeeeeeeeee."  
  
There is a moment of very uncomfortable silence. Fortunately Brock helps him by saying, "Hey, look. a pidgey eating some bread."  
  
Tracey quickly stops crying, and shouts, "HOT SHIT! I have to sketch that!!!" And leaps off in that direction. "I hate uncomfortable moments like that, don't you?" Ash asks Misty. Misty says, "You think that was bad. I've heard worse.."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO A CABIN IN THE WOODS.  
  
Snow White is busily cleaning up the tiny little cabin where her and the 7 dwarfs live. To Snow White's curiosity, she hears a noise coming from her room. Whack. Whack. Whack.. A rhythmic noise. She opens up the door saying, "Is someone in here." And as she walks in, she sees a stunned Dopey and Sleepy, wearing her underwear spanking each other. Then the uncomfortable silence begins.  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"That was an unsettling tale." Brock said, "Sounded like a porn."  
  
"Yeah," Ash said, "but hey, Snow White wouldn't be the first Disney character to go into a porno."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO A BED ROOM WITH A VERY SCANTLY CLAD NATIVE AMERICAN WOMAN SITTING ON A BED  
  
The director yells, "Alright, Scene 2 of 'Pocahotass', ACTION!"  
  
In walks a man dressed in green tights, "Do you need Throbbing Hood for this scene?"  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Brock laughs, "I love unmotivated Disney bashing."  
  
Pikachu laughed, "Pikachus, pikah pikai chut chu chu" *TRANSLATION "Yeah, it'll teach those bitches who has the world's favorite mouse!"  
  
Misty, being the voice of reason asked, "So what do we do first?"  
  
Ash yelled out, "Let's go look at the rare pokemon"  
  
Brock said, "Maybe we should get to the hotel and check in first"  
  
Tracey said, "Why don't we go check out the dainty pottery? Oh how I just love to look shiny new pottery with pretty pink flowers and oh a cute little handle. They remind of new babies, smooth skin and beautiful to look at, but oh so fragile and precious too."  
  
Everyone stared at him for a second, then red-faced Tracey retracted his thought and said, "Umm.. what I meant to say is, Lets go check into our hotel."  
  
AT THE HOTEL  
  
At the hotel Ash and Company try valiantly to get a room. "So, Mr. Valiantly, do you have any rooms left?" Brock asked. (I think I can actually hear the groans from that joke, well toughen up, cause there will be worse before this fanfic ends!)  
  
The man replied, "Actually we have 2 rooms left. Normally we do not have any rooms this time of the year... but... thanks to Mr. Myers these two rooms. came up."  
  
The man looks off to the left and we see the cops carry 2 body bags off into an ambulance. Off to the side of THAT there's some kids that say, "HEY, this looks like a cigarette ad to me!!!" And then carry in more body bags. Ash looks at Misty and scratches his head. "Do you have ANY idea what the hell is going on?"  
  
Misty shook her head; "Nope, I've long since given up trying to understand anything that goes on around here. not since Professor Oak made that porno."  
  
Ash Brock Misty and Tracey all shudder at that thought. Ash mutters, "What the hell was he thinking making 'How many CAN you stuff in a Snorlax?"  
  
"I dunno, but seeing Professor Oak in Vaseline from head to toe." Tracey started to say.  
  
"Stop. just stop right there" Misty ordered, "The nightmares have just recently stopped."  
  
"You've stopped having nightmares?" Brock asked surprised.  
  
"Well THAT nightmare anyway." Misty explained, " I still have that on-going night-terror where I'm stuck as Melvin the Magician's assistant."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO MISTY'S NIGHTMARE  
  
Melvin. sounding A LOT like Woody Alan, is standing on stage, with Misty along side him in a typical magician's assistant attire. "And now, for our next trick. my younnggggggg assistant is going to lie on her back. And if you'll just let me pull out my magic wand." Misty screams and wakes up.  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO MISTY IN BED  
  
Misty sits up in bed and scratches her head. "Why am I at home and in bed? I should be out traveling with Ash." Misty is cut off as Woody Alan comes through the door. "You might be a little too old for me. but you have a cute butt" And he moves in closer as Misty screams again and wakes up again.  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Everyone just gapes at Misty as she tells her dream. "What?" she asks, "you don't have dreams like that?"  
  
"Anyway." Ash said breaking the moment, "What should we do first as long as we are here?"  
  
Tracey suggested, "I hear that there's a big demonstration on Pokemon watching in Tent #4"  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO TENT #4  
  
We see a bunch of people staring at a Jigglypuff, like a bunch of zombies. Slack jawed, dim eyed staring. Beyond them we hear evil laughter. It's coming from the stockholders of Nintendo. "I think we just found our new Pokemon video game. Watching the Pokemon." (Hey, it can't be any worse then Pokemon Snap- - - -all 2 levels of it)  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Brock scoffed at that idea. "I heard behind Tent #3 there's a thing on breeding."  
  
"How cute!" Misty replied, "What pokemon are they breeding?"  
  
"Pokemon?" Brock replied.  
  
BEHIND TENT #3.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well kids, if you cant figure out what's going on at this tent, well, I would suggestion you go to one of the fine pornography dealers in your neighborhood. Remember to support your local porno stores, before giant pornography corporations take over your town, and run the small family owned porno shops out of business.  
  
BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Are we TRYING to piss of the Censors?" Misty asked, "I mean if that's what we are trying to do, we can all just go naked."  
  
Excitedly Tracey said, "Yeah!!! Ash, rip off your clothes!"  
  
"What?" Ash asked.  
  
Tracey quickly replied, "Umm. tip of your nose. Misty's guess of us trying to piss off the Censors was right on the nose"  
  
Ash: *reluctantly* "Oh.but anyway, maybe we can go to Tent #1, they are having amateur pokemon battles. I bet I can beat anyone who challenges me!"  
  
  
  
"Oh Ash. Your going to get all your hopes up again, and just be disappointed." Misty sympathized.  
  
"Hey Misty," Brock reminded her, "You gotta be confident, and disappointment is just a fact of life."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO METROPOLIS, CLARK KENT'S BEDROOM.  
  
.where we see Lois Lane and Clark in bed together. Clark looking embarrassed and Lois looking quite unsatisfied. "Hmmph." She says looking low and frowning at Clark. "Man of Steel my ass."  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Ok. that does it." Misty said, "I don't want to be affiliated with this episode. I'm leaving." And she does. she just up and leaves through a plot hole.  
  
Ash looks puzzled. "Can she do that?"  
  
Brock shrugs. Tracey stands there and quickly sketches the gaping hole in the plot..  
  
"Well, I'm sure she'll be back soon enough," said Brock, "Why don't we go on to Tent #1, and we'll try our hand with the trainer battles."  
  
AT TENT #1  
  
Our 3 heroes enter the tent, still short one Misty. People are having battles all over the area, with a few spectators watching them.  
  
"BOY, can you believe what happened on the way over here???" Brock said excitedly.  
  
"No way!!!" Ash said just as hyped, "I cant believe it!!! But lets just keep it a secret. no one would believe us anyway. and to try to convince others of what we saw would just ruin the sacredness of it"  
  
Tracey nodded, "Your right. let us never speak of it again."  
  
Brock nodded, "Agreed."  
  
"Yeah, your right" Ash reluctantly agreed, "Besides, we aren't the first people to ever keep a secret."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO SEASAME STREET  
  
We find the cast of Sesame Street gathered around the bloody corpse of Mr. Hooper, who held in his hand a contract to work for Reading Rainbow. Big Bird grins evilly and says, "No one leaves our 'hood"  
  
Ernie and Bert nod in agreement. Elmo says, "Elmo LIKES smashing turncoats skulls in!"  
  
But, Prairie Dawn cries out, "But what about the cops."  
  
Grover interrupts her, his blue fur tinged red, "We will tell them he had a heart attack and banged his head."  
  
"Yeah." Big Bird agreed, "as long as we all keep the same story. they'll never convict us!!! What do you think Count?"  
  
He shouts out, "ONE. ONE CORPSE!!!"  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Man." Brock said, "I never realized how tough of a neighbor hood Sesame Street is."  
  
Ash replied, "Hell yeah. remember when Oscar the Grouch was beaten half to death during that hate crime?"  
  
"Yeah, you know what Kermit said" Brock said, "It ain't easy being green, and don't even get me started on what Elmo's parents did to him to cause him to talk the way he does."  
  
Tracey scratched his head. "Guys. aren't we getting a bit off topic?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Aren't we suppose to be battling trainers at the pokemon thingy?  
  
"You mean the Pokemon Festival?" Tracey reminded him.  
  
"Yeah, like anyone gives a rat's ass anymore. Everyone probably has put on MTV by now."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO MTV  
  
"You are watching Road Rules. after this, is 2 more hours of more Road Rules. Followed by 2 hours of the Real World. And tonight at 8:00. more Road Rules. At 8:30, Real World. At 9, an hour of advertisements about MTV. At the ten spot, a brand new Road Rules. But before we bring you back to Road Rules. a quick hypnotic message so you don't turn off this dreck. "TAERG SI VTM LOOC SI VTM NIAP LEEF LLIW UOY RO VTM HCTAW TSUM UOY"  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO POKEMON  
  
"Man," Brock said, "I think its disgusting the when big businesses try to brain wash kids into watching or buying their crappy merchandise.  
  
SCENE CHANGE QUICKLY TO.  
  
A brightly flashing scene playing loudly, "GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL GOTTA BUY THEM ALL GOTTA BUY THEM ALL GOTTA BUY THEM ALL"  
  
SCENE CHANGE QUICKLY BACK  
  
There's an uncomfortable pause. "What the hell was that?" Tracey asked.  
  
"I dunno. but suddenly I feel like I have to buy the new Pokemon video game." Ash replied, looking at a stand selling, "Pokemon Watching"  
  
"Hey, they got that game out fast." Tracey admires.  
  
"Ahem guys?" Brock reminded, "Aren't we here to do some battling?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Ash said brightly, "I almost forgot!!! Just like you might forget that there's a brand new pokemon T-shirt out at stores now!!! . . .hmm. what an odd thing to say. I don't even know why I said it."  
  
"Oh. you must have eaten some of that Pokemon cereal this morning, didn't you?" Tracey guessed.  
  
"Pikachua pikas pis pikam pio pikachun chuk chue chuy" Pikachu scolded. TRANSLATION: "I just wanted to say something cute and make the fans love me more"  
  
Ash looks at the camera and smiles, "I bet you wish you were reading a different story right about now. don't you?"  
  
"Hey YOU!" a voice yelled out.  
  
"Who. me?" Brock asked.  
  
"No, you. with the stupid hair cut."  
  
"Oh, he means you Tracey." Brock said, making Tracey bawl again.  
  
Through the tears, he asked, "What?"  
  
"I challenge you to a pokemon battle!"  
  
"Ok. but why me?" Tracey asked.  
  
"Well, the other 2 look tough. but I took a look at you, and I figured you should be an easy win!"  
  
Ash smiled and said, "and how!"  
  
"ASH!!! " Tracey yelled, "whose side are you on???"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
The kid then said, "My name's Horatio, and I challenge you to a pokemon battle right here, right now."  
  
MEANWHILE OUTSIDE.  
  
The less than illustrious Team Rocket plans a scheme. "Alright," Jesse said, "That kid Tracey is going to battle and it will be a great opportunity to take his Scyther."  
  
"But Jesse," James asked, "I thought we always tried to take Pikachu?"  
  
"What I want to know." Meowth replied, "Is what they meant by "less then illustrious"!!! I'm damned illustrious! I never get my fair due on this show! For god's sake, I can talk!!! Why am I not the star???"  
  
"Because the Japanese are naturally afraid of cats." James explained.  
  
"Really?" Meowth inquired.  
  
"Oh yeah, ever since Hello Kitty went on that killing spree"  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO A DARK ALLEY IN JAPAN.  
  
In that dark alley, a small cartoon kitty walks up to a cowering man, who in his native tongue yells out, "What. what are you going to do to me?"  
  
In a voice much deeper and darker then its body lets on. "I'm going to enjoy you. with fava beans, and a nice sake'."  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
The 3 members of Team Rocket just stood with their mouths gaped open. Breaking the silence Jesse asked, "Did that make sense to either of you?"  
  
"Well I smoked a joint before this episodes started," James explained, "So its alllll good."  
  
"I can't believe that!!" Jesse said incredulously. "You had a joint and didn't let me in on it?"  
  
"Well there wasn't really much for two people." James defended. "Look, next time I'll get 3 bones, one for each of us, ok?"  
  
"Well, alright" Jesse agreed, then realizing they were still on camera, "Oh I think we should tell the kids reading this about drugs."  
  
1980's CARTOON PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.  
  
Jesse: "Kids, let me tell you something. Smoking weed. well. smoking weed is one of the single best things you can do in this earthly plain. It frees your mind from the drudgery of the real world, and makes you feel like your being hugged by a warm loving cloud. But ONLY if you get the good stuff. So kids, remember, only buy your drugs from people you know. That's the way to stay 'poke-cool'  
  
Meowth yelled, "Would you stop it with the drugs??? Why would you tell the kids that???"  
  
James shrugs, "Best they hear it from us then on the streets."  
  
Meowth growls, "Don't you see what they are doing to you? Jesse, they make you have a short temper, and James, I can only hope the whole transvestite thing is because of the drugs!"  
  
"Hmmph." Replied James, "You mangy furball, I just happen to like to put on women's dresses, that doesn't make me a transsexual."  
  
  
  
"Right." Meowth retorted, "that's exactly what Fred said. It started innocently enough with that gay scarf, but soon enough, he wouldn't leave the house without wearing a full evening gown." (Now the question is. am I referring to the Flintstones, or Scooby Doo?)  
  
"Enough of this nonsense." Jesse ordered. "There's a whole tent of pokemon in that tent, and I plan on taking them all!"  
  
"I'll start digging the hole." James replied.  
  
"No no, wait.." Jesse said grinning, "We won't be digging a hole for this one. I think that's a little redundant, don't you?"  
  
"No more so then the motto." James said.  
  
Meowth chimed in, "Or the fact that we always lose."  
  
"Or that we appear in every single episode"  
  
"Don't forget how we always yell something about blasting off again."  
  
"Same old pokemon every time too"  
  
"Oh yeah, or how we always makes fools of ourselves and lose EVERY SINGLE pokemon battle."  
  
"Oh OH! And how our hair styles are always ridiculous!"  
  
"ENOUGH!!!" Jesse yelled, "whose side are you on?"  
  
James blushed, "I really don't know. I mean, I find some girls attractive but sometimes I just wake up and think."  
  
The hollow smack that came next was Jesse fan smacking her partner upside of the head. "Now if we can get past this nonsense long enough, I have a plan that just cant fail!"  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO OUR TRIO  
  
Ash wondered, "I wonder what Misty is doing right now?"  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO MISTY SITTING AT A BAR WITH OTHER FEMALE CARTOONS  
  
Misty sits with Wilma and Batgirl drinking Long Island ice teas. "You see, I love that Ash, I really do, but he can be so freaking stupid at times. Did I ever tell you about the time we got zapped into Wonderland?"  
  
SCENCE CHANGES TO WONDERLAND  
  
The Cheasure Cat looks down at Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu. "Well, you could go to the left, and see the Hatter. Or you could go to the right to see the March Hare. It doesn't matter, they are both quite mad."  
  
Misty asked, "But we don't want to go amongst MAD people!"  
  
"Oh you cant help it, Everyone is mad here, I'm mad, your mad, if you're here you MUST be mad!" Cheasure Cat replied, "But if you are to make it out of here alive, you must do one thing, you see."  
  
  
  
But before the Cheasure Cat could finish, a pokeball flew up and ensnared it.  
  
"YES!!!" Ash said dancing, " I finally caught myself a. what was that anyway?" Ash asked.  
  
"Our only hope of leaving Wonderland alive?" Brock said deadpan.  
  
"Ohh." Ash said looking at the ball. "That's kinda a weird name for a pokemon."  
  
SCENBE CHANGE BACK TO THE BAR  
  
"Oh you think you got it bad," Wilma complained, "Look at what I'm married to. When most girls complain that their husband is a Neanderthal, it's just a figure of speech. But mine really IS a Neanderthal! Do you know what it's like to have a child with a real caveman? When we we're trying to have Pebbles, Fred would rip out hair that just shouldn't be ripped out and then there's that smell when he."  
  
Batgirl interrupted Wilma, "Wilma. if you finish that statement I will wake up screaming every night for the rest of my life."  
  
WE INTERUPT THIS SCENE FOR AN EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT  
  
We are now face to face with a man behind a desk. "We interrupt the previous scene, mainly because it wasn't very funny and there was no tasteful way to end, to bring you a special announcement. A gang of kids and their dog has just uncovered a startling conspiracy about the JFK assassination; we bring you live to the scene."  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO WASHINGTON DC.  
  
"Well it all started," A young man with blonde hair and a gay scarf said, "when we came to Washington DC to see that groovy band, The Backstreet Buttfu...."  
  
"NEVER MIND THAT. anyway. While we were staying in the hotel though, we were chased out of our rooms by the ghost of JFK!"  
  
The dog with replied, "Rat's Right"  
  
"And so after some digging we discovered that the head of this whole conspiracy was."  
  
Interrupting him, the reported asked, "Hey, did that dog just talk?"  
  
"Yeah he did, he always has been able to. well as I was saying you wouldn't believe how high up in the government this goes to. you see."  
  
  
  
"That's amazing!" the reported replied, "A talking dog."  
  
"Your not listening to me."  
  
"A talking dog."  
  
Shaggy looks at Velma, "He can talk for real? I thought it was the weed."  
  
Velma looks shocked, then realizes, "that would explain why you had the munchies so bad you ate the dog food."  
  
SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY (ASH and Co.)  
  
Ash looks around, "annnddd. where' back from that acid trip."  
  
Brock, "What were we doing?"  
  
The three stand around scratching their heads...  
  
Horatio clears his throat.  
  
"OHHHH oh right!" Brock said, "I except your challenge!"  
  
Horatio: "I didn't challenge you, I challenged him!"  
  
Tracey: *teary eyed* "Someone wants me!!!"  
  
Horatio glares at the freak and then looks at Brock, "Ok, you know what, I challenge you instead."  
  
But Tracey cries and cries until Horatio changes his mind and challenges him again. So finally Tracey excepts the challenge that was laid down so very long ago. "Alright, I except your challenge Horatio."  
  
"Alright then, this will be a 2 on 2 battle. I choose Rastifari. oh wait. he was banned from this story after the letters we got from "Going to School" (READ MY OTHER STORY) Ummm. in that case, I choose Machoke." and in an instant a giant muscular lizard stood in front of Horatio.  
  
"So. which one of your pussy pokemon are you going to use?" Brock asked.  
  
"HEY!" Tracey defended, "They aren't all pussy pokemon!!!"  
  
"Sure they aren't. you got a little blue water thing," Ash said, "You got a Scyther that is knock knock knocking on heaven's door its so old, and a little fuzzy bug thing. Nice team ya got. what's the matter, Magikarp to tough to deal with?"  
  
Tracey turned red with anger, "YOU JUST WAIT, I'll win this match!!! GOOOO SYCTHER!!!" And in a flash Scyther, a giant green bug thing that stands on 2 legs and has blades for arms came out and stood toe to toe with Horatio's Machoke. "Quick Scyther," Tracey yelled out, "Use your slash attack!"  
  
But unfortunately, the elderly Scyther just collapsed into death. "AUGH!" Tracey yelled in surprise.  
  
Brock calls out, "Scyther is unable to battle because Tracey's pokemon suck."  
  
Tracey yelled out "Damnit!"  
  
Misty then came back into the story, and walked up besides Ash. "So, what did I miss?"  
  
"Nothing much," Ash replied, "Some weak-ass battle between Tracey and Hamlet or something like that." "HORATIO!"  
  
"Whatever." Brock said, "Its not like you even matter, your one of the thousands of extras we have on this show, you'll be on for about 10 minutes, and we'll never see you again."  
  
Horatio: *disappointed* "Really?"  
  
Ash: "Hey, just be glad this isn't Star Trek!"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO STAR TREK*  
  
Captain Kirk: "Alright, we're here on a desolate alien planet, Spock, you scan for life, Bones, you set up base over there. I'll scout for alien babes, and you, Ensign Ed, you know what to do."  
  
Ensign Ed: "Yes sir" Ensign Ed walks a few feet, and a giant rocks immediately falls from no where crushing him to death.  
  
Kirk checks his watch. "Hmmm, that took a little longer then usual."  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY*  
  
"Alright then" Tracey said, reaching for a pokeball, "I'm going to win this one with, Maril!!"  
  
And in a flash out popped Maril, a cute little round blue pokemon.  
  
"You're kidding right?" Horatio asked. "Well, lets finish this up Machoke run up to it and give it a Cross Chop."  
  
"Quick Maril", Tracey yelled, "Remember that movie, 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'? Well, that Machoke was the head writer!"  
  
A change came over the cute Maril. It's changed into a deeper blue/purple color and finally green. Its eyes grew red. Its teeth grew into large pointed fangs. It looked with searing hatred at the Machoke, who stopped in its tracks with fear. In a flash the blue pokemon flew at the Machoke sinking its teeth deep into its throat. The bloody carnage that followed only ended when Horatio called back his Machoke.  
  
As quick as it happened, Maril went back to looking perfectly cute, and except for all the blood on the ground and smeared on its cute little mouth, you wouldn't have guessed what just happened. The crowd stood there aghast. Brock made a face and said, "It would seem that Maril is psycho and Machoke is lucky to be alive, but nevertheless, Machoke is unable to battle, Maril wins that round.  
  
Horatio cried out, "Oh come on, that was REAL dirty pool!"  
  
Tracey just shrugged, "You know strategy is a part of pokemon training. And you don't want to make my Maril angry... you WONT LIKE HIM WHEN HE'S ANGRY"  
  
Misty sighed, "Ash, are you following ANY of this?"  
  
"Not really..." Ash shrugged, and pointed "Hell, I'm just trying to figure out what Spiderman is doing here"  
  
Sure enough, hanging from a tree, Spiderman was watching the battle, "Oh don't mind me kids, This friendly neighborhood Spiderman is just here cause I had to bring The Hulk here. See, there he is over there"  
  
And over where Spiderman was pointing, The giant green monster, the Incredible Hulk, was humping into a Snorlax, who seemed to still be asleep. The Hulk just grunted out with each thrust, "More. Cushion. Better. Pushing."  
  
"Thatta boy Hulk," Spiderman said, "We let him do this cause it makes him more docile. All that rage before? Just pent up sexual aggression."  
  
Brock: "Why a Snorlax?"  
  
Spiderman: "Well, given the Hulk's size and strength, A Snorlax is about the only thing that will survive a horny Hulk... well that and Rosie O' Donnel, but even the Hulk has standards."  
  
Ash, a' la Ed McMahon: "Hi yoooooooooo!"  
  
"Can we finish this battle already?" Brock asked, "I need to put take out my contacts in a bit"  
  
Everyone just stared at him in disbelief. "I HAVE eyes!!!" Brock yelled.  
  
But before we could go down that humorous avenue, a shrill cry filled the air. "Say hey, we're gay! No more battles today!" was the chant that rang through the air. And two teenagers, and a cat, dressed in hippie clothing, run into view holding up protest signs. The male yells out, "I'm Wavy Cox."  
  
And the female cries out, "And I'm Moist Chasm. And we are officially protesting this whole event."  
  
"That's right!" The Meowth spoke up, "The whole idea of enslaving pokemon so you can make them fight each other is a horrible idea!"  
  
The lady waved her protest sign which read, "Freedom Unto Caged Karma" at Ash and Company, and said, "We who belong to Freedom Unto Caged Karma, believe that if the world will ever become a beautiful place, we have to let all our creatures live outside pokeballs, to battle only when they feel like it."  
  
Ash leaned over to Misty, "Umm. The name of their group. isn't that an acronym for."  
  
Misty interrupted, "Yes it is."  
  
The protestors continued. "If you really want your pokemon to be happy, why don't you just give them over to us, and we'll release them back into the wild and Mother Earth will weep with joy."  
  
Brock groaned, "Oh no, Poke-activists."  
  
Ash, "Whets the deal with them?"  
  
"Well, I've never heard of this particular group" Misty explained, "But I know other groups like them, and they're pains in the asses. Always protesting at gyms, spray painting other pokemon, demanding that pokemon should be able to vote, crazy stuff like that."  
  
Tracey nods, "Yeah but they aren't the worst... remember last Christmas?"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO THE NORTH POLE  
  
It's the night before Christmas and Santa Claus is making sure everything is perfect for his ride. "Let's see, I have my list of who's been naughty and nice... the toys are packed, the reindeer are fed... Hey... where are the reindeer?"  
  
We see outside where the reindeer are... a group of protestors are freeing them! "Go, you're free now! Live free!"  
  
Santa comes running up, "Whets going on here?"  
  
"FUR IS MURDER!!!" A girl shrieks when she sees what the big man is wearing. She promptly kicks him the groin and dumps paint on the jolly old elf. "Aw shit... I got paint on my leather gloves" She moans.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Brock replied, "Yeah protesters can be bad... mostly whiney people with too much time on their hands... who choose not to fill that spare time with million of pokemon products, but can you imagine a world without them?"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO A LARGE FOREST  
  
We see an elf in a suit and tie, obviously a reporter, standing in front of a large tree. "I'm standing here in front of Ernie Keebler's cookie factory. Today is the 100th year anniversary of this wonderful institution, why in there right now there are hundreds of elves and Ernie himself, making a brand new fudge cookie to commemorate this momentous anniversary. We hope to have a word with them in a just a minute, so if you at home would just... wait a minute... what is this...?"  
  
We then see a group of lumberjacks run up to the tree, and begin to cut down the tree, we hear tiny little screams coming from inside, and a loud, "TIMBER!!!"  
  
The tree starts to tip down, the reporter yells, "OH THE HUMANITY!!!""  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Yeah.... that's the good stuff, now we'll get in trouble..." Ash said happily.  
  
"Hey guys..." Misty said, "I just had a thought... who else has a talking Meowth other then..." She walks up to the male of the group and pulls off his mask, revealing James of...  
  
"TEAM ROCKET" Everyone around gasps! Jessie and Meowth remove their disguises as well.  
  
Meanwhile a little further down, a young boy declares, "Hey! You're not Enrico Testicaclese, the famous pokemon trainer!" And then pulls off the man's mask revealing the 'trainer' to be a giant rabbit, "YOUR THE RABBIT!!!"  
  
Everyone around yells, "SILLY RABBIT, Tricks are for kids!"  
  
Brock looked at Tracey and said, "I thought tricks were for women in the red light districts?"  
  
But even further down, we see a giant translucent Pikachu caught in a net, a young woman in glasses says, "Alright, now lets see who the ghost Pikachu of Tent 23 really is!" And Velma removes the mask, to unveil, an older gentleman.  
  
Fred declares, "Hey, its old man Periwinkle, the owner of the hotdog stand! I bet he realized that this pokemon fair is on top of a diamond mind, and he was trying to scare everyone away!"  
  
The man bitterly spits at them and says, "Yeah, and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!"  
  
Fred looks at him aghast... "Meddling? Meddling... you smarmy son of a bitch!!!" Apparently the gang of kids take offense to being called meddling so often, because they proceed to beat the living crap out of him.  
  
  
  
  
  
I think this is a GOOD place to end this right now... Dont worry boys and girls, the second half is coming very soon, probably as soon as wednesday night or thursday afternoon, but while you're waiting, why not post a review! Remember, its up to viewers like you to keep low-quality crap like this story on the internet. So send in your pledges and reviews! 


	2. Chapter 2

Ok, we are back! We're going to pick up the story right where we left off. :)  
  
Meanwhile, back over to our main story. Ash looks at Misty, "This story is confusing... Remember when life was simple, and you got a sticker for going to the bathroom... ahh... those were the days..."  
  
Tracey sighs in agreement, "Yeah... but now all ya get are those balloons they sell in the bathroom... odd thing is the ones that are suppose to tickle you never do... I blow them up and rub them on me..."  
  
Misty interupts, "Ok ok... we got the joke, lets move on."  
  
"Ok... but where were we?"  
  
Everyone stands around and tries to remember where the story was before all the madness started. Team Rocket gets impatient...  
  
Jessie: "If you REMEMBER, you were in some serious trouble!"  
  
James: "And now that we had to REMIND you we're making it double!"  
  
Ash makes a face... "Meh... that wasnt your strongest opening..." Pikachu holds up a sign that says 7.6  
  
"Hmmph... everyone's a critic," Jessie complains, "Hang on a second", and she confers with her partner"  
  
After a minute...  
  
Jessie: "You boo'ed us once now your in trouble!"  
  
James: "This time you'd better score us at least double!"  
  
They stop and wait expectantly. Ash and co. hold a mini conference. After a moment, Ash speaks up, "A little better," Pikachu holds up a 8.2  
  
"Ok... hang on" Jessie says holding up a finger, and goes back to her partner and they work out a new one.  
  
Brock leans over and whispers into Ash's ear, "So how long you think we can keep them stalled like this?"  
  
Ash grins, but before he can respond...  
  
Jessie: "Ok ok, we got a good one now...  
  
Jessie is now dressed as a alien.  
  
Alien Jessie: "We dont come in peace we come in trouble!"  
  
Alien James: "I like all my anal probes to be double!"  
  
Everyone looks at James. He shrugs, "What?" Pikachu holds up a 6.8 "Judging a little harsh, arent you?" Ash asked.  
  
"Pika-pika-chu. Chu Pika chu." Pikachu explains. Ash nods understanding, "Oh... so the French pay you to keep the other scores down..."  
  
Meowth: "come on, just get on with the motto, we'll be here all day!"  
  
Jessie: "Ok Meowth, we'll scratch your itch..."  
  
James: "Cause if we dont you'll whine like a bitch!"  
  
Everyone claps, Pikachu holds up a 10 card. Meowth stares at them, but Team Rocket continues before the pokemon can say anything.  
  
Jessie: "To protect the world from devastation!" (Professor Oak appears in the corner of the screen and starts to sign the motto, he pushes his arms out in a pushing motion)  
  
James: "To unite all people in every nation" (Oak brings his arms to his chest in a gather motion)  
  
Jessie: "To denounce the evils of truth and love..." (Oak doesnt sign but just stares at Jessie)  
  
James: "To extend our reach to the stars above!" (Oak starts doing the 'jerk off' motion with his hand)  
  
Jessie: "Jessie!" (Oak scratches his nose with his middle finger.)  
  
James: "James!" (Oak sticks his finger up his ass)  
  
Jessie: "Team Rocket blasts off with the speed of light!" (Oak sticks his finger down his throat...)  
  
James: "Surrender now or prepare to fight!" (...and vomits)  
  
Meowth: "MEOWTH THAT'S RIGHT"  
  
Jessie yells passionately "NOW HAND OVER THAT PIKACHU!!!"...  
  
...but no one is paying attention anymore. "Oh for the love of..." Jessie complains, "No other villian ever had to deal with this kind of lack of respect."  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO GOTHAM CITY  
  
Batman and Robin are pushing the Riddler around. "Come on puss." Batman mocks, "Come on, Riddle me this... whats gay, green and is going to have a batarang shoved up his ass?"  
  
"Come on... stop itttt.." Riddler whines.  
  
Robin laughs and pushes the villian down, "Come on, throw some question marks at us..."  
  
Batman puts his hands up, "Ok... thats enough... here..." And offers the villian a hand up. The Riddler takes it, but Batman lets him go halfway up, and the villian falls back down, this time into a dirty puddle.  
  
Batman laughs, "God you suck... what kind of villian are you? You're in spandex... but i dont see any bulges... anywhere..." Batman and Robin points and laugh. "Looks like he doesnt have any question mark of his own, if know what i mean!" Robin laughs. Batman looks at him, "No... no, didnt quite get that one..."  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
James says, "A spandex costume... hmmm.... you know i tried Latex once..."  
  
Jessie: " Really? Why dont you wear that anymore?"  
  
James: "Well I found out they only protect you 98% of the time..."  
  
A Rimshot is heard in the background, everyone looks to see where it came from and we see Ash sitting at a set of drums. Everyone looks at him quizzically. "Hey... i was bored, you two were just going on and on..."  
  
Ash leaves the drums and joins his friends. Ash clenches his fist, "Alright, you want Pikachu?"  
  
James rolls his eyes, "Ah duh..., we've only tried for it every single episode from day one! Some people just dont take a hint!"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO SUPER MARIO's HOME  
  
Mario walks into his bedroom, and yawns, and says to himself, "Oh, mama'mia, i cant-a believe that Tony Soprano wanted me to-a purposely let King Koopa get-a away-a! I wonder what-a he meant-a when he said i would be-a sorry?"  
  
Mario pulls back the cover of his head and screams at what he sees, laying there on his pillow is the head of Yoshi! "Oh-a my god-a no!!! Damn-a youuuuuuu!!!"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY*  
  
  
  
Meowth looked at James. "I thought you said that if we were going to do a Nintendo joke, we'd do the one about Kirby being used as a luffa sponge?" James nods and opens his mouth to speak but...  
  
Brock quickly puts his hands up, "No, No, thank you, thats ok... dont need to hear that..."  
  
Jessie pulls out a pokeball, "Wobbuffet, go!!" And out comes a blue pokemon, it cries out, "Wobbuffet! definately, definately wobbuffet..." Jessie grins and says, "Come on, try and attack, thanks to Wobbuffet's counter attacks you have no chance of beating us!"  
  
Ash looks at his friends, and just folds his arms and stands there. "Well... come on then..." Jessie orders, "Attack!"  
  
Ash shakes his head no. "It occured to me last time we fought," Ash said, "That if I dont attack first, your crappy lil blue turd cant do a damn thing..."  
  
Jessie scowled, "Grr... damnit, just attack!"  
  
Ash: "No!"  
  
Jessie sighs, "Come on! Do something!"  
  
Brock, in a western drawl, "Looks like what we got here is a mexican standoff..." Tracey looks over at Misty, "You think there's going to be an ethnic slur coming up?" Misty sighed and says, "Probably..."  
  
  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO...*  
  
Cheech and Chong standing face to face, each with a hand on a fully loaded bong, glaring at each other. Neither one budging.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY*  
  
  
  
Misty sighs, "Well, i suppose that was the best that we could have hoped for."  
  
Tracey agrees, "Yeah, i thought it was going to be something about the way they smell"  
  
Misty opens her mouth shocked, "Are you crazy??? Do you want us to be canceled or something like...  
  
*The screen goes fuzzy...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN AT A DESK  
  
"We sincerely apologize for anyone that was offended by this recent joke. We honestly didnt think there would be any pussy's out there that'd be so thin skinned that a small little joke would...  
  
*Screen goes fuzzy again  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO ANOTHER MAN AT A DESK  
  
"We sincerely apologize for that last apology. We here at the network assure you that the problem has been solved. However I think thats what we get for hiring someone that's Polish, cause we all know...  
  
*Scene goes fuzzy once again  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO YET ANOTHER MAN AT A YET ANOTHER DESK  
  
The man looks at the cameras, clears his throat, and shuffles the papers on his desk. He drinks a little water from his glass. Then looks at the camera again, grins and says, "Boobies."  
  
  
  
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again*  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN ON A DESK WITH A WOMAN ON TOP OF HIM  
  
We hear moans and see alot of humping...  
  
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again*  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MAN NOT AT A DESK...  
  
"Hi..." the man says, "I'm Jimmy Carter..."  
  
  
  
*Screen quickly goes fuzzy again.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO JOHN CLEESE SITTING AT A DESK  
  
He looks at the camera and of course says, "And now... for something completely different!" And then gets crushed by a giant cartoon foot...  
  
*SCENE CHANGES SO WE SEE THAT...  
  
...the giant foot belongs to Ash Ketchum. "Ok... I think we're back..." Ash said, "Damn... that was like a bad acid trip!"  
  
Misty made a low groaning noise, "This story sucks! The writer has no talent... I dont even think he's..."  
  
Misty is interupted as white glop drops on her head. "OH MY GOD!!! WHITE OUT!!! I'M BEING WHITED OUT!!!" She cries, "I WAS ONLY JOKING!!! DONT ERASE ME!"  
  
A voice calls down, "Hey miss, you ok??"  
  
Misty looks up to see a painter on the ladder, the guys says, "I was working up here, but a Pidgey flew by and knocked a can of white paint over. You ok?"  
  
The young girl face bright red with embaressment, "Yeah... I'm fine."  
  
"Yeah," Brock laughed, "Its not like it'd be the first time Misty wound up with white sticky gloop on her face..." Misty then kicked Brock in the nuts. Tracey looks at his friend's sack lying on the ground. Brock glares at the young girl... "I was eating those peanuts... now i'll have to buy a new bag."  
  
Misty: "Well it serves you right" And sticks her tounge out at him.  
  
Meanwhile back to Ash and Jessie, who are still battling each other. Or not battling each other as the case may be.  
  
Brock in a western drawl, "It looks like what we got here is a Mexican Standoff..."  
  
"WE DID THAT ONE ALREADY!!!" Ash yelled at him, then he turned back to his battle, "Oh the hell with this, Pikachu, just use thunderbolt."  
  
Pikachu leaps forward and send a thunderbolt right at the Wobbuffet, who counters it, and send the attack back at the yellow rat. Pikachu dodges it, and sends other one at the blue thing. Again, countered. This goes on a few more times. Pikachu stops attacking and looks at the Wobbuffet, and mutters a pokemon swear word. It walks off the screen.  
  
Ash and Jessie look at the pokemon leave. "Pikachu?" Ash asks, "What you doing?"  
  
Jessie cheers, "Woohoo! I won that round!!!"  
  
Ash, muttering to himself, "Alright then, i choose Bayleaf..."  
  
MIsty interupts him, "Hey Ash! Let me fight this round!"  
  
"Alright, alright," Ash steps aside, "Go for it..."  
  
Misty reaches into her bag and throws a pokeball, "Go Poliwhirl!" And out comes a blue pokemon, a Poliwhirl. "Poliwrath!" it calls out. Everyone looks suprised at it. The Poliwhirl says, "Poli, Poliwrath, wrath, poliwrath."  
  
Ash looks at Misty, "Whats it doing?"  
  
Misty shrugs, "Leave it alone, its having a identiy crisis."  
  
"Ohhh" Ash said understanding, "My totodile had one of those too..."  
  
  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO ASH AT HOME  
  
Ash walks into his bathroom to see his Totodile sitting on the kitchen sink looking into the mirror, makeup all over its face. Totodile surprised, turns and looks at its trainer. Apparently its in high heels as well. There's an akward pause...  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Alright then!" Misty yells out, "Poliwhirl! Use your watergun attack!"  
  
Poliwhirl declares, "Poliwrath!" And fires a powerful stream of water. Just like the electric attacks, Wobbuffet counters this attack as well, the water slamming into Poliwhirl. Jessie laughs manically, "Alright! We're going to win!"  
  
  
  
Suddenly Pikachu comes charging back and slams a steel chair into Wobbuffet's head. Pikachu rolls ontop of the blue pokemon. Ash drops to his knees, "And Pikachu makes the cover!! One, Two, THREE!!! It's OVER!!!"  
  
  
  
Pikachu jumps up on his trainers shoulder and raises his eyebrow. "Alright then, now that you took care of Wobbuffet... Pikachu..."  
  
  
  
Misty: "Poliwhirl..."  
  
  
  
Ash: "THUNDER ATTACK!!!" Misty: "WATER GUN ATTACK!!!"  
  
  
  
Tracey yells out, "Venonat! HYPER BEAM!!!"  
  
Brock laughs, "Get the hell out of here Tracey, your pokemon barely know tackle."  
  
"Grrrr..." Tracy growls, "I'll show you!!! Venonat give them your hyper beam!!!"  
  
Venonat looks at Tracy. Then drops over to its side; dead. "SHIT!" Tracey screams, and Brock falls over laughing, "Oh i gotta sketch that!"  
  
Meanwhile, both attacks slam into Team Rocket, who for some reason, explode and fly off, "Team Rockets blasting off againnnnnnnnnn..."  
  
Ash and Misty looked shock, "What the hell? Why'd they blow up???"  
  
Flying away... James moans, "I knew i shouldnt have stuck that stick of dynamite up my ass!!!"  
  
Jessie glares at him and asks, "You never explained WHY you stuck dynamite up your rear!"  
  
James: "Well, we had to hide it, and its just a hobby of me..."  
  
Ash and Misty dance together, "Hurrah! We won!!!" Then the two realize they;re hugging each other, quickly let go and blush.  
  
Brock muses, "They really do like each other dont they?"  
  
Tracey agrees, "But they fight it so..."  
  
Brock shrugs, "Well, they arent the first couple to try and hide their emotions for each other..."  
  
  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO...  
  
Fred Flinstone sits in his hammock, and looks over at Barney bending over, picking weeds out of his lawn... "Mmm... I've got to get me some of that..." Fred says softly to himself.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Tracey makes a face... "Meh... thats was only so so... let me have a crack at that... they arent the first couple to try and hide their emotions for one another...  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Alright, fine, nevermind, I got nothing" Tracey admits.  
  
Brock laughs, "Yeah, good job there Sir chokes-alot"  
  
Ash and Misty look at Brock and Tracey. Misty leans over and whispers in Ash's ear, "They really do love each other alot,"  
  
Ash nods, "But they hide is so..."  
  
Brock makes an angry face, "DON'T go there!"  
  
Horatio taps his foot. "Can we finish this match? I'd like to win now."  
  
Tracey walks over, "Alright lets finish this, I believe its my Marril versus your... Magikarp?"  
  
Horatio shook his head, "No."  
  
"Please?" Tracey pleaed.  
  
"No... I'm going to give you all a thrill," Horatio said to the crowd.  
  
"Ooh!" Tracey squealed excitedly.  
  
Horatio stared at his opponent for a second, then shook it off. He holds up a pokeball, "I present to you... Articuno!"  
  
Everyone gasps. "The Funnel Cake stand is open!" Someone yelled, and everyone watching the match ran off. Horatio groaned.  
  
"HEY!" Tracey yelled as he saw Ash starting to head over to the stand, "Where do you think your going?"  
  
Ash shrugs, and said sadly, "I wanted funnel cake..."  
  
Misty taps her foot, "Ashhhhh..." She said sternly.  
  
Ash sighs, "Fine fine... I'll stay... stupid pokemon battle, its so hard to find funnel cake, but no, i gotta stick around and watch some stupid pokemon battle between two losers and thier crappy pokemon."  
  
"Hey..." Tracey said hurt, "I'm standing RIGHT here... I heard you..."  
  
Ash looked surprised, "You did?" Then he shrugged, "Oh well, I stand by what I said."  
  
Misty yelled to Horatio, "Would you please just bring out your Articuno so you can beat Tracey."  
  
"How do you know im going to lose?" Tracey whined.  
  
Misty sighed, and explained, "Because you suck Tracey..."  
  
Tracey pouts.  
  
Misty sympathazies, "I'm sorry... but its true..."  
  
Tracey sighs and says, "I know i know, but still..." He pouts.  
  
Horatio sighs and says, "Ok then, stand back... here comes..." He pauses, and pauses... and waits...  
  
Ash leans over to Brock and whispers, "Why doesnt he just throw out the damn pokeball already?"  
  
Brock whispers back, "He's building up drama... standard Anime ploy."  
  
"Get out of here!" Ash says.  
  
Brock nods, "Dragonball does it all the time..."  
  
  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO DRAGONBALL Z....  
  
Announcer: "When we last left Dragonball Z, Goku was fighting the funny pink thing. He declared the battle over, preparing to finish off the match with one shot.  
  
Goku gathers up his energy, he yells to his opponent, "Here comes my Kamehameha!" And Goku charges the move. And the enemy stands there.  
  
"Grrr..... oooOOOOOO" Goku gathers more energy.  
  
Close up of the enemy anticipating the attack.  
  
Close up of Goku, still building up the attack.  
  
Zoom in on the squishy pink enemy face, tense.  
  
Zoom in on Goku face determined as he pulls in even more energy.  
  
*Cut to commerical*  
  
*And we're back*  
  
Goku builds more energy drawing in power from all around.  
  
The enemy stands there.  
  
"Kaaaaaaaaaaaa...." Goku yells out, his whole body glowing.  
  
The enemy looks at its watch.  
  
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."  
  
Enemy starts to get bored.  
  
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."  
  
"HEY!" the pink monster yells, otherwise known as Kirby, "You wanna get on with this?"  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."  
  
Announcer: Will Goku's move be strong enough to defeat Kirby? Tune in next time for DRAGONBALL!"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY...  
  
Horatio finally throws his pokeball, "Go! Articuno!" And out comes a giant blue bird. Tracey mutters, "Wow... its beautiful"  
  
Ash agrees, "I never get tired of seeing Articuno, so majestic."  
  
Horatio beams, "Its my pride and joy."  
  
"Its a CHICKEN" Misty declared agreeing with Brock, "Its a GIANT CHICKEN!"  
  
Standing there ready for battle is INDEED a giant chicken painted blue. Horatio looks horrified, "How... how DARE you! What an INSULT!"  
  
"YEAH!" Tracey agrees, "Are you crazy Misty? Dont be so rude"  
  
Misty grits her teeth, "Im NOT being rude... its a giant... freaking... chicken..."  
  
Brock shakes his head, "Misty... chickens arent blue..."  
  
Misty growls.  
  
"Alright then," Brock says, "Time to start the match, GO!"  
  
"Alright, use your tackle attack!" Horatio yells. The "articuno" just waddles around and pecks at the ground.  
  
"Ingenious!" Tracey says, "What a way to do a tackle attack! But we'll fight back, Marril, use your tackle attack!"  
  
The Marril rushes at "articuno" but just as it leaps into a tackle, "articuno" sees a worm and goes chasing after it. Marril misses by a mile and slams into the ground and knocks itself out cold.  
  
Tracey groans. Brock declares Horatio the winner. Tracey shrugs, "Well i lost to a better man... good match!" And he shakes Horatio's hand, "Your Articuno is unbeatable!"  
  
"Oh for the love of..." Misty says, "Staryu, WATERGUN that thing!"  
  
Staryu comes out and blasts the "articuno" with a water gun attack.  
  
"MISTY!" Brock yells, "What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm... I'm just trying to prove its a fake!" Misty tries to explain.  
  
"Well, you've have some problems with that before, havent you?" Ash repremands.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO...  
  
Ash, Misty, and Brock walk down just another road, and out comes 2 adults and a meowth. "Hi, can you help us?" The male said, "We're lost, and we dont know our way.."  
  
Misty groans, "Oh for the love of, damnit Team Rocket, can we go ONE day without you trying to attack us?"  
  
The 2 adults look shocked, "Whatever do you mean?"  
  
Misty tackled the 2 and with the help of her pokemon continue to beat down the group. "Misty.." Ash said.  
  
"Yeah Ash?" Misty asked breathlessly, still kicking the male.  
  
"Thats not Team Rocket," Ash explained.  
  
"What do you mean?" Misty asked stopping her assault, "A male, a female, and a meowth, its so obvious."  
  
"Except for one thing?" Ash says.  
  
"...and that is?" Misty asks.  
  
"Well.. I'm pretty sure Team Rocket aren't black..." Ash said sardonically.  
  
Misty glances down at her victims and sure enough, the two adults were much darker skinned then the usual Tam Rocket.  
  
"Oops..."  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Well... THAT should get us letters" Brock says.  
  
"But that time I was wrong, this time I'm right!" Misty declares, "LOOK!"  
  
Sure enough, the watergun washed off the bird's paint, and sure enough, it WAS a giant chicken. Everyone gasps again. "Oh my god!" Tracey yelled, "It IS a chicken, a GIANT CHICKEN!"  
  
"I can't believe it!" Horatio says, "I trusted you! I've taken care of you! I've even milked you!"  
  
Misty raises an eye, "Milked... but its a male chicken... does that mean he..."  
  
Misty shudders, "STOP... dont finish that..."  
  
Horatio continues outraged, "Thats it! Get out of here!" And with that he kicks the giant chicken clean over the horizon, disappearing as a star in the distance.  
  
Team Rocket laments their loss. "We never win..." James complains.  
  
Jessie sighs, "I know I know... we need to get Don King as our manager or something."  
  
"Yeah... even a fixed win would be nice once in a while" Meowth moans.  
  
"Well... at least we're done for the day..." James says.  
  
Suddenly the giant chicken comes crashing down in front of them. The chicken gets up in front of them, dusts itself off and heads off into the sunset. Oddly enough, music seems to play out of thin air...  
  
You wear a disguise to look like human guys,  
  
But your not a man... your a chicken boo...  
  
The trio of villians watch it walk off and stare at each other. James raises an eyebrow and asks, "Anyone else in the mood for some fried chicken?"  
  
Meowth holds up a butchers knife, "You dont have to ask me twice!"  
  
Back to our heroes. "Hey," Tracey says, "Have you seen Horatio? I wanted to say goodbye but he seems to have disappeared."  
  
"Sorry," Ash says, "Havent seen him..."  
  
Off in a shadowy area of the festival we see Horatio walk over and stop. Then he hunches over. And his head opens, and out comes two mice. "Its a shame that your Articuno turned out to be fake." The lankier mouse said.  
  
"Yes Pinky," The shorter bigger headed mouse says, "If only it was real, we could have frozen the towns water supply and we would have ruled the world! Well come on then... we best prepare for tomorrow night."  
  
"Why Brain? What we gonna do tomorrow night?" Pinky asks.  
  
"Why, the same thing we do every night Pinky. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"  
  
As they walk away we hear, "They're dinky... they're pinky and the brain brain brain brain... *CRUNCH* *SQUISH*  
  
Ash steps on them while walking by. "Did you hear something?" he asks Misty.  
  
Misty shrugs, "Other then the two Animaniac jokes in a row... nope."  
  
"Yeah really, whats up with that?" Ash says, "Was there a two for one sale at the extinct cartoon department?"  
  
Ash looks over at the kids from Card Captors. The young girl from it yells over, "HEY, we're not extinct yet!"  
  
"Yet..." Ash says with an evil chuckle, and the pokemon kids walk away.  
  
Ash and Misty join Tracey and Brock. They stand there. And stand there... and stand there. Ash looks at his watch. "Shouldn't this be over with by now?" Ash asked.  
  
Brock shrugs.  
  
Ash goes on, "Havent we done everything we're suppose to?"  
  
Tracey pulls out a checklist... "Let's see... Pokemon battle?"  
  
Ash: "Check"  
  
Tracey: "Defeating Team Rocket"  
  
Ash: "Check"  
  
Tracey: "Random offensive jokes?"  
  
Ash: "Umm... yeah... we had that mexican crack before, and the whole thing on protesters. So, Check."  
  
Tracey: "Obligitory Disney ripping?"  
  
Ash: "Haha, oh yeah, check, though I wouldnt mind sneaking a few more in..."  
  
Tracey: "Obligitory WWE rip?"  
  
Ash: "Hmmm... I think we missed that one!"  
  
SCENE CHANGE TO A WWE RING  
  
(this one is for all the WWE Fans out there) HHH stands in the middle of the ring, although he looks much more scrawnier then we're used to seeing him. He addresses the camera, along with his girlfriend, Stephanine McMahon, who is looking rather flat chested. HHH takes the microphone. "Greetings, my name is HHH, prince of the WWE. This is my fearless friend, Stephanine. Fabulous..."  
  
HHH is interupted by Big Show's music hitting and the giant appears at the entrance way. HHH doesnt panic, he knows exactly what to do. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a syringe. He holds it up in the air and yells, "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL" and quickly injects himself in the arm. The old He-Man theme plays as HHH doubles in muscle mass.  
  
"I... HAVE THE POWER!!!!" He spins and points the syringe at Stephanie and sprays her with the remaining liquid . Miraculously a bright light envelopes her and her breasts triple in size...  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Brock, *evil chuckle*, "Yeah... thats the good stuff..."  
  
"So..." Ash asks, "How do we finish this?"  
  
Misty shrugs, "We DO seem to have that problem, dont we?"  
  
Brock, "Well, I know of another person that has an even worse finishing problem..."  
  
  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO CLARK KENTS BEDROOM  
  
Superman is looking embaressed in bed with Lois Lane, who looks even more unsatified then before. "Are you sure your name is Superman, and not the Flash, fastest man alive?"  
  
  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Misty shakes her head, "Its good that you got that last pot shot in... but we still need an ending."  
  
"Hey, speaking of Pot Shots..." Ash says.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO...  
  
Cheech and Chong still fighting over the fully loaded bong. Cheech pulls out a gun and shoots Chong and takes a long hit of his prize.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Everyone stares at Ash. "You see..." He explains, "Reefer... shooting... pot... shot... pot shot. Get it?"  
  
Misty shakes her head again, "Can we please end the pain?"  
  
Tracey grins, "Speaking of ending the pain..."  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"Choked again?" Brock asked, "Damn, you suck at this"  
  
Thats the last straw. Tracey reaches into his pocket, "That DOES IT!" Tracey yells furious, "I'm going to get all of you! MARILL, come out and kill them all!"  
  
Marill comes out of its pokeball, looks at Tracey, and falls over dead. "DAMNIT!!!" Tracey yells, everyone else falls over laughing, Tracy fumes, "Can we just end this damn thing?"  
  
Ash snaps his fingers, "What about the Gargoyles ending?"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #1  
  
Ash, Misty, Tracey and Brock stand looking over the edge of a building just before the sunrises. "We must protect this land... this... Kanto League, from those that would cause us harm." Ash says in an unnaturally deep voice. All four of them growl and turn to stone as the sun rise. Pikahchu leaps on its owners shoulders and turn to stone also. Psyduck tries to do the same to Misty, but turns to stone and falls off the building.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Brock shakes his head, "Ok Ash... that just didnt make any sense."  
  
"Oh yeah," Ash says sarcastically, "Cause this whole freaking story has made TONS of sense. I mean LOOK at that guy over there!!!"  
  
Over to the side and Alfred E. Neuman stands there and says, "What? Me worry?"  
  
All four shake thier heads in confusion. "I dont think anyone but the writer will get that joke..." Misty says, "And I really dont feel like explaining it."  
  
Tracey says, "You know, we can always settle for the Hamtaro ending..."  
  
  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #2  
  
...sitting at a desk. Ash is writing in his journal. "Today we went to a pokemon festival. It was fun and I saw all types of pokemon. Misty wasnt wearing a bra today. I like that. Team Rocket attacked us. James WAS wearing a bra. I dont like that... that kind of disturbs me."  
  
Ash picks up Pikachu and says, "Today was a good day wasnt it! And I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be even better!"  
  
Pikachu tilts its head and goes, "Hickhick?... OOPS... I mean... 'Pika?"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
  
  
Before anyone can say anything, Tracey shakes his head, "Nah... that sucks."  
  
Suddenly, Jessie, James, and Meowth come walking into the scene. "Hey, we cant leave until you guys wrap this up." Jessie complains.  
  
"I know, I know," Ash says, "We're having some problems coming up with an ending..."  
  
James says, "Why dont you just do this..."  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #3  
  
Jessie sits back in the chair and brags to Meowth, "Ahhh... sweet victory at last... we finally have captured Pikachu!"  
  
Meowth laughs, "Yeah, it may have taken years, but wait til the boss sees it, he'll promote us."  
  
Jessie looks around, "Hey, where's James?"  
  
Meowth shrugs, "I saw Jimmy go into the bedroom with Pikachu, but that was like an hour ago... oh NO!... He wouldnt have!!"  
  
Jessie looks worried and runs into the bedroom where we see...  
  
...James lying on the bed, squirming and moaning in pleasure. Next to the bed is Pikachu, attached to its cheeks are wires, letting Pikachu pump electricity through them. The wires run to two clips snapped on Jame's nipples. "Ohhhh it was soooo worth the wait!" he shrieks.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE VERY VERY QUICKLY BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU????" Everyone in the scene screams at James.  
  
Jame shrugs, "It was just a suggestion."  
  
"Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ!" Ash says exasperatedly.  
  
Brock pulls out a bar of soap and smears it into his eyes, "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! I CAN STILL SEE IT EVEN WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES.!!!"  
  
Misty shudders, "Ok... we have to end this... NOW!"  
  
***ANNOUNCER: "So once again, the day is saved by... the powerful girls!!!"  
  
Misty shakes her head, "Wrong show..."  
  
***ANNOUNCER: "I know, but I havent said anything since the beginning of the show!"  
  
Misty sighs, "I wonder if I could change shows and become an actress on Yu- Gi-Oh"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO YU-GI-OH  
  
Yu-gi-oh declares, "Oh no, my dark wizard is only at steel power plus 1. But if i play the card of dark sorrows face down I can take another turn and be able to use the Griffin of Dumbldore which can cast bonestorm to lower my opponents fire taking ability. But thats only if he doesnt have a Dark Mage card that can cast demon's light oh all cards played sideways."  
  
Misty stares at him, and after a moment says, "What the fuck are you talking about?"  
  
  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Everyone stands around trying to think of a good closing.  
  
Meowth sighs, "I cant think of an ending for this story..."  
  
Ash, a la' Grouch Marx, "Really? I cant think of anything else!"  
  
*Rim shot*  
  
Everyone looks up, to see Pikachu at the drumset now. Everyone stares. "Pikachu, get away from those..." Ash says  
  
"Pikal chui chuc pikachuk pikapim pikae..." It says. (But YOU got to play earlier!)  
  
Brock snaps his fingers, "Hey, we always have the Stephen Speilberg ending!"  
  
"Hmm...." Misty says, "Works for me"  
  
"Lets do it!" Tracey says.  
  
"Hey..." Ash says, "Sounds good to me, but before we go, can we get one more Disney bashing joke in?"  
  
"SURE!" Brock says, "Why not?"  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO A MOVIE TRAILER  
  
On the screen we see that this trailer is appropriate for all ages. An voice on the screen says, "For years Disney has been taking adult books and making them into water down kiddy musicals. First, we took you to the streets of London in "The Great Mouse Detectives". Next we took you to the French Revolution in "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" And now, Disney takes you to a place, that we all will visit some day...  
  
..  
  
...HELL!!!" The sceen bursts into flames and horrible demons fill the screen. We hear people wailing in the background suffering. Suddenly the wails go soprano and into an opening of song. The demons go into chorus, "Welcome to Hell, you wont like your stay, you were mean in your life, now your going toooo payyyyyyy"  
  
Announcer: "This Summer, Disney brings you "Dante's Inferno! Follow Dante, along with his wacky spirit hampster guide, Virgil, through the 9 circles of hell!"  
  
Dante (voice supplied by Jerry Seinfeld): "Whats the deal with Hell? Is it hot enough here? I dont know! Maybe Satan, is trying to get a tan. Maybe THAT'S why he's so grouchy!"  
  
Hampster Virgil: (As voiced by Richard Simmons) Come on Come on Dante! This heat is great to shake the fat out of those christmas hams! We still have 6 more circles to get through, lets feel the burn!"  
  
We see a few cut scenes, first of Dante, trying to cross the giant river of shit, without getting any on his shoes. Then we see Dante helping push a giant boulder up a giant hill. We see Virgil pull out a snowball and it quickly melts, "Hey, i guess that old saying IS correct!"  
  
Coming to all theaters Summer 2004  
  
*SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY  
  
Ash sighs, "Ohhh thats was a good one! Alright, story's over, who's up for some drinking? I'm buying"  
  
Everyone goes, "Hurray!" And walks off, leaving us to go to the final ending.  
  
*SCENE CHANGE TO ENDING #4  
  
We cut to a ocean, and a quickly sinking ship. Ash, the only one left, is clinging onto the mast of the sinking ship for all he's worth, in his hands he holds a rifle.  
  
The giant pikachu circles around, moving in for the final kill. Ash aims his rifle... "Come on..."  
  
The giant pikachu moves in closer, "Smile, you son of a bitch!" Ash yells. In a deep roar, Pikachu yells, "Piiiikaaaaaaa" opening its mouth slightly.  
  
Ash pulls the trigger, and the giant Pikachu is blown into a million pieces. "AH HAAAA!" Ash cheers as his foe sinks to the bottom of the sea, a bloody mess. Ash cheers, "Its OVER!!!" Suddenly Ariel, the little mermaid, leaps out of the water, sinks her teeth into Ash's throat, and pulls him down under, getting revenge for all the Disney jokes.  
  
A message comes up that says...  
  
THE END  
  
Pikachu walks onto the screen with a pencil and writes...  
  
THE END... or is it?  
  
Ash walks onto the screen and adds...  
  
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is!  
  
Pikachu adds...  
  
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure?  
  
Ash adds...  
  
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat.  
  
Pikachu adds...  
  
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat. Hot damn, lets go!  
  
The two leave the scene. Brock walks into the scene and adds...  
  
THE END... or is it? Yes, it most certainly is! Are you sure? Yep, trust me, lets go get something eat. Hot damn, lets go! For all the ladies, Brock's number: 555-hot meat  
  
Brock leaves the scene. We fade to black...  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Most of the things made fun of in this story were copywrited material. Of course by you reading this your just as guilty of the crime then I am... and if i go down, YOU go down. This story is an orginal work except for the things that were stolen. This story should not have been read by people who are pregnant. This story is NOT a significant source of vitamins A, B12 or E. This story is void in South Carolina. 4 out of 5 dentists agree that this story, along with regular brushing and flossing will significantly reduce your chance of getting the gum desiese that causes gingervities. This story IS the freshsaver. Do not open until X- Mas, but use by 1-17-03 for best freshness. This story is NOT the real slim shady.  
  
  
  
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed, pleaseeeeeee take a moment and give me a review. By the way... there is a spider on your shoulder... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... made you look. 


End file.
